it comes in waves

i enjoy being with the kids. it makes my days go faster....keeps me occupied...keeps me not thinking about what i left behind and why i did this!

i realize that i did this for many reasons. i have met a couple people which is good but i really feel still unstable in some ways.

living with a family and working for them makes me work more than i really should be working but it's hard to just leave so we have dinner and i do the dishes and i help the kids with other stuff. in the mornings it is worse. i like to wake up and simply BE before i start doing anything but this morning was really fun!

i am not the most chipper person before i have my coffee but both kids were up before six AM and i am trying my very best to wake up daily and be thankful and grateful. i had to stop and count this morning to ten and remind myself that i am lucky, grateful, alive, fed, clothed, clean and so on.

some in the world are not this lucky and i think more than we think take for granted the simple pleasures of life.

so while i was being grateful i was also thinking about how nice it would be to have this place to call 'home' soon.

today is a crazy day. well for the middle part of the day anyhow.

gernot has his PT at 11 until noon. then we have to find a place to have a snack/lunch and then i get to go on a mystical journey to this horse therapy place which i think would be cool....but the kids will be cranks by the time we get home but thankfully (hopefully) i can keep them up until then and we'll just have a late nap day!

i try everyday to remember that i am here for a reason....that i think sometimes things do happen for reasons maybe we cannot see just yet!

the days are so long. my contract said 40 hours a week but i am working close to 60 hours a week....mostly cause i live here still. i think once i don't live here they will get a better idea of what the mornings will be like without me making them coffee, making the bottles, making breakfast for the boys....

someone please send me a letter...i know nisey sent me one....

oh and henry got his chocolates and that took a week and a half about. i think the kinder egg experiment went horribly wrong! i will have to take linda's advice and use an egg holder next time and try it that way!

sorry B!