thinking about coming home

sooner than i thought.

some days it's okay and i have friends so it's not this lonliness or the travel or anything.

it's this job. i gave up so much to come do this.

now everyday i come to work and it's always something i do wrong, not good enough.

i thought i was a good nanny. i love kids. i thought i did a good job.

maybe i was expecting it to be more like working for people like sarah and paul or ginna and david.....elila and josh....for tim and denise.

i thought parents wanted someone they could trust to watch their kids, to foster their independence and growth, to love them and care about them, to make sure they didn't die or drown or get kidnapped.

but somehow this just isn't enough. maybe it is because she never worked and stayed home. but i worked for stay at home moms so it can't be this.

i don't know what it is but now today it is something else and i have written many people in regards to leaving my flat and if i would get the money back, posted on other boards to find work as a nanny in other cities.....or maybe i will just come home and look back on this as a fun thing i got to do when i was young enough to do it.

i miss DC and i miss arting around with my friends.

if anyone has any kinds of wisdom to offer me, now would be the time.

i just want to come home now.

i want to work again for people that know i do a good job.

sure, we have to have people tell us things we don't do or don't do right but once corrected wouldn't that suffice?

and it's only fucking monday?

this weeks is not really starting out that great.