peace

i have peace. maybe not all the time but more peace as the time wears on in life.

i will be 34 one month from today. i will be on a train enroute to krakow that day.

today the dad told me we had an appointment at the hospital on the outskirts of town. no biggie it was crappy weather so....poor gernot. i feel so bad for him sometimes. he's always going somewhere getting something done to him.

this brought up the question (well an article a friend sent that i had also read about) about dying or the choice of death in certain circumstances.

question: if any of my lady friends were pregnant and were told that the child they were carrying was going to be born with difficulties/defects/handicaps would you abort the child and try again?

of course one never really knows what is going on in that amniotic sac...

i think i would be thought of as selfish if i chose to do this.....well mostly cause i would choose to do this.

thankfully gernot's dad met us for the appointment instead of mom. he's just really nice. he's been nice to me since i told them and tamara won't even look at me. i know when i left henry and cat i am sure no one was super jolly about it but at least no one treated me like shit.

so in the car on the way home dad was talking about weather here. it's been a rainy chilly summer and he was noting that it's not usually like this. i just said yes i am always carrying raincoats or sweatshirts and sunscreen cause during the day it changes like four times! then he said 'i bet you miss DC summers'

i said i did.

he knows i am really going. i think tonight's talk will accomplish a few things.

one to really settle on the fact i am going
two to hopefully find out if my trip is still a go as i decided this after it was all planned.....so i am not sure.
three to be as honest as i possibly can about their kids, my views and how i think things are from my perspective.

should be ok. last time we set up a meeting she called to cancel cause she said she would be home too late. ha! i just remembered that! it was on her!

booyah!

anyhoo....i have a crazy weekend coming up with that fellow from netherlands and louis coming from zurich. hizzah!