so i got lost after paul dropped me off. i was more or less disoriented but quickly realized my directional mistake.
seeing henry was really interesting! it was just so good to see his face. he was sick all week. poor kid.
so it was his bday and it was a mellow day for him. he showed me his neat boat and i said 'some people live in boats' and he said 'there are more people that do not live in boats.'
catherine. oh my god. she's a ham and a half.
she's like 8 hams!
sarah said 'what's your name' her answer. 'two'
awesome....
there really are not many words i can say that describe how i feel about being home, feeling so welcome....feeling more me and more open. the reason i want to wait until december is because i want to try to find a place of my own to live. i want to keep living alone.
PLEASE NOTE:
i will be changing the blog. the place will of course probably be here but the name/url will change. probably in the coming week.
i missed the german as i was walking. hearing all english. i have not stopped hearing one siren or the other where i am staying.....copters....noise. it's lovely and i think it will be hard for me to sleep! maybe not today as i have been up for i guess almost 24 hours...
bed, wedding....work on monday. i'll just say that monday is going to be a pretty mellow day....maybe the air and space....or the hirshorn or the newseum or or or or so many choices.
i feel good. i feel happy with this choice and perhaps even still all the choices that have brought me to this place i am right now. it's all we have, isn't it?
new blog coming soon probably to the tune of meeshypants and a blog that will still have me rambling but i think i have different ideas..
dunno. we'll see how it goes eh?
thanks again for tuning in while i was in the schweiz.
11 October 2009
09 October 2009
polarizing news
the day before i come home. obama....the nobel peace prize?
interesting for sure.
i miss being in DC. i miss random protests...i miss the kids. i miss.....free museums.
monday is a holiday so i will have both kids and can get to know cat again and i think henry remembers me. cat will too but it might take a bit..
i am having some beers with my friends, going to make garlicky alfredo sauce with peppers for dinner.....i feel good. i got chocolates....lots of kinder eggs and i think at the airport if my bags don't cost a ton then i will get some more chocolate. seems like the right thing to do as i didn't really get much. i am worried about the bag thing
so i have opted to carry on my keyboard/flutes and my side bag and checking the three bags. two are fine with weight and the big red one is too heavy and probably too big but whatever. i think even converting pounds to francs then to USD i will only spend (i hope here) about 300 bucks to check them all.
eeek!
wish me luck on that one!
interesting for sure.
i miss being in DC. i miss random protests...i miss the kids. i miss.....free museums.
monday is a holiday so i will have both kids and can get to know cat again and i think henry remembers me. cat will too but it might take a bit..
i am having some beers with my friends, going to make garlicky alfredo sauce with peppers for dinner.....i feel good. i got chocolates....lots of kinder eggs and i think at the airport if my bags don't cost a ton then i will get some more chocolate. seems like the right thing to do as i didn't really get much. i am worried about the bag thing
so i have opted to carry on my keyboard/flutes and my side bag and checking the three bags. two are fine with weight and the big red one is too heavy and probably too big but whatever. i think even converting pounds to francs then to USD i will only spend (i hope here) about 300 bucks to check them all.
eeek!
wish me luck on that one!
luzern
luzern
Originally uploaded by meeshypants
i really liked this one photo. i had zero mental capacity to wander around luzern but glad i walked a bit....i'll miss it here. it's very beautiful but i am also reminded of the significant beauty of america....there are so many nooks and crannies to life in america. though i have been to 48 of 50 states, there is still much more to see...especially in south america!
feeling the peace
maybe i was out of sorts cause i was staying in zurich and it has weird memories for me.
now i am back in basel with real people! and a baby who sleeps a rather long time in the mornings. it's 830 and she's still sleeping! that's a pretty awesome kid right there!
oh i have to go to the bank and close the account. get some chocolates. some for me (there is one particular bar i have become fond of) as well as a few more kinder eggs.
daniela gave me an egg carton to put them in so i hope that i won't get checked. she said it would be better to just check them instead of carrying them....
at this time tomorrow i will be on my way to heathrow (provided it doesn't stay this foggy in basel! oh noes. my planes will be delayed!) and then from london i leave at like 1030 london time (hour behind us here in basel) and should arrive at ICA at 13:40.
i am getting rather excited to come home! i feel super blessed, awesomely lucky to be me to have all these great people in my life. sometimes i think we forget how truly lucky we are to have people in our lives. i say this because i know there are people in the world that have no one. no one to care for them or to look after them. no one sending them emails to make sure they are okay or phoning them just to say hello.
being in zurich was rather odd and hard. my friend wasn't there so it was just me which is normally fine but i found myself relieved in ways on the train ride back to basel. sad sure, but happy as if i let something go.
went to sleep last night at 2130 watching jonathan creek. lovely.
now up having some coffee....trying to decide if i should stay up all night before the flight so i can try sleeping on the flight home....i dunno i also think 'why fuck with nature'
i have to get up early to get to the airport anyhow.
i wish i could online check in but there is no printer here....
maybe i can have daniela do it while we see her at lunch time.
or just leave it to chance as usual.
i am so excited!! yay home soon y'all!
now i am back in basel with real people! and a baby who sleeps a rather long time in the mornings. it's 830 and she's still sleeping! that's a pretty awesome kid right there!
oh i have to go to the bank and close the account. get some chocolates. some for me (there is one particular bar i have become fond of) as well as a few more kinder eggs.
daniela gave me an egg carton to put them in so i hope that i won't get checked. she said it would be better to just check them instead of carrying them....
at this time tomorrow i will be on my way to heathrow (provided it doesn't stay this foggy in basel! oh noes. my planes will be delayed!) and then from london i leave at like 1030 london time (hour behind us here in basel) and should arrive at ICA at 13:40.
i am getting rather excited to come home! i feel super blessed, awesomely lucky to be me to have all these great people in my life. sometimes i think we forget how truly lucky we are to have people in our lives. i say this because i know there are people in the world that have no one. no one to care for them or to look after them. no one sending them emails to make sure they are okay or phoning them just to say hello.
being in zurich was rather odd and hard. my friend wasn't there so it was just me which is normally fine but i found myself relieved in ways on the train ride back to basel. sad sure, but happy as if i let something go.
went to sleep last night at 2130 watching jonathan creek. lovely.
now up having some coffee....trying to decide if i should stay up all night before the flight so i can try sleeping on the flight home....i dunno i also think 'why fuck with nature'
i have to get up early to get to the airport anyhow.
i wish i could online check in but there is no printer here....
maybe i can have daniela do it while we see her at lunch time.
or just leave it to chance as usual.
i am so excited!! yay home soon y'all!
08 October 2009
not super weepy
i cried a load on the still train as it was waiting to leave zurich HB.
then a wept a bit at the lindt factory.
i suppose it was the sad musics.
rather though, it was a good ride back to basel. i smiled more than cried actually. it's good to let go.
it's good to move forward.....because as you all know, there's never any going back
am in basel with james, daniela and jess their one year old and it's very nice. she's a very cute baby.
live through this and you won't look back.
there's one thing i want to say so i'll be brave
you were what i wanted
i gave what i gave
i'm not sorry i met you
i'm not sorry it's over
i'm not sorry there's nothing to say.
the end.
is near.
then a wept a bit at the lindt factory.
i suppose it was the sad musics.
rather though, it was a good ride back to basel. i smiled more than cried actually. it's good to let go.
it's good to move forward.....because as you all know, there's never any going back
am in basel with james, daniela and jess their one year old and it's very nice. she's a very cute baby.
live through this and you won't look back.
there's one thing i want to say so i'll be brave
you were what i wanted
i gave what i gave
i'm not sorry i met you
i'm not sorry it's over
i'm not sorry there's nothing to say.
the end.
is near.
saying good bye to zurich
i am saying bye to zurich today. i spent many a weekend here and found it to be like my home away from home.
i am glad i was able to come stay here while my friend was away and while i was a wee bit homeless. what am i talking about. i am homeless.
maybe i cried so much last night that i am out of tears today. who knows. perhaps the train back to basel will be the overwhelming part....last train ride in schweiz...i know the route like the back of my hand now.
i am filled with a lot of emotions but that's me. emotional and sensitive. raw and real.
i am glad i was able to come stay here while my friend was away and while i was a wee bit homeless. what am i talking about. i am homeless.
maybe i cried so much last night that i am out of tears today. who knows. perhaps the train back to basel will be the overwhelming part....last train ride in schweiz...i know the route like the back of my hand now.
i am filled with a lot of emotions but that's me. emotional and sensitive. raw and real.
07 October 2009
vierwaldstättersee
today i took an amazing boat ride from brunnen to luzern.
it was the most beautiful ride. the weather was perfect....the breeze cool and the sun warm. i cried a lot but that's what i do best. i had my headphones on the whole time listening to songs that reminded me of here....of people.
when we got to luzern i sort of freaked out a bit. the boat ride was so mellow and lovely and there were fourteen billion people on the docks right by the HB--we also docked around 4 so it was rush hour, fall school holidays and some crazy ass carnival.
mass walls of people was not something i was looking for.
i quickly found a side street to take some deep breaths.
i would have walked around a lot more but i am so poor and i would have liked to eat....but knew it would be like 30 francs--and did i mention the amount of people?
maybe it's been rainy all over schweiz the past few days cause today the humans were out in full force.
i opted to walk a bit then came back 'home' to zurich.
got some food in me and while i am wavering on tears, feeling much better.
i will miss you too.....i remember when i was leaving DC....i guess it was like five weeks and i thought that it would go slowly but it didn't and as i have found here, five weeks ago i wouldn't have thought i would be here today this fast.
i wish my friend was here but i am happy to have the peace of this flat....it's been a great comfort to me to know that i have made significant friends/connections with people here.
it's some kind of odd emptiness and also a sense of feeling so full....
it was the most beautiful ride. the weather was perfect....the breeze cool and the sun warm. i cried a lot but that's what i do best. i had my headphones on the whole time listening to songs that reminded me of here....of people.
when we got to luzern i sort of freaked out a bit. the boat ride was so mellow and lovely and there were fourteen billion people on the docks right by the HB--we also docked around 4 so it was rush hour, fall school holidays and some crazy ass carnival.
mass walls of people was not something i was looking for.
i quickly found a side street to take some deep breaths.
i would have walked around a lot more but i am so poor and i would have liked to eat....but knew it would be like 30 francs--and did i mention the amount of people?
maybe it's been rainy all over schweiz the past few days cause today the humans were out in full force.
i opted to walk a bit then came back 'home' to zurich.
got some food in me and while i am wavering on tears, feeling much better.
i will miss you too.....i remember when i was leaving DC....i guess it was like five weeks and i thought that it would go slowly but it didn't and as i have found here, five weeks ago i wouldn't have thought i would be here today this fast.
i wish my friend was here but i am happy to have the peace of this flat....it's been a great comfort to me to know that i have made significant friends/connections with people here.
it's some kind of odd emptiness and also a sense of feeling so full....
weird....kind of numb?
i don't think i am numb but i sure feel odd about leaving and that there is only 3 days left.
i do like change and i do know that i am doing the right thing. as a dear friend told me it's better to know about unhappiness and to do something about it rather than stay and suffer.
in the end i think it was best for everyone involved.
it's been gray and rainy in zurich for two days but today it's clear as a bell in the sky so i look forward to taking the train to brunnen and then a boat to luzern. thanks louis for the swiss change to be able to do it.
that guy has money all over the house. i guess i learned a lot about money here too. so long as i have a roof, food, friends...clothes. i don't 'need' much else. though it's nice to 'have' stuff having my life and breath and people that care about me is more incredible than there are words.
i am reminded of the fact that there are certain things that just cannot be put into words. perhaps that is how i am feeling now. i have been a crying mess-watching myself slip into the background of someone's mind....watching the life continue as if i wasn't here anymore and i guess in some ways it is better to see that. i am happy that there is someone else to keep the company though the sting, well, stings.
i am open but i need others to be open too otherwise it makes the openness one sided. assumptions are made. feelings get hurt.
i have some bread belly to get rid of! much exercise will be done when i get back as well as no more breads!! (but reminded me that i have to bring some rösti and chocolate home!)
i have that really nervous feeling in my stomach...i don't know why. i guess all the finality of things. i have enjoyed seeing what i have seen. it makes me long to see more of the world now.
i look forward to seeing the children....to seeing washington again for that is where i feel like it is my home. or at least my home base. roots.
back to basel tomorrow!
i do like change and i do know that i am doing the right thing. as a dear friend told me it's better to know about unhappiness and to do something about it rather than stay and suffer.
in the end i think it was best for everyone involved.
it's been gray and rainy in zurich for two days but today it's clear as a bell in the sky so i look forward to taking the train to brunnen and then a boat to luzern. thanks louis for the swiss change to be able to do it.
that guy has money all over the house. i guess i learned a lot about money here too. so long as i have a roof, food, friends...clothes. i don't 'need' much else. though it's nice to 'have' stuff having my life and breath and people that care about me is more incredible than there are words.
i am reminded of the fact that there are certain things that just cannot be put into words. perhaps that is how i am feeling now. i have been a crying mess-watching myself slip into the background of someone's mind....watching the life continue as if i wasn't here anymore and i guess in some ways it is better to see that. i am happy that there is someone else to keep the company though the sting, well, stings.
i am open but i need others to be open too otherwise it makes the openness one sided. assumptions are made. feelings get hurt.
i have some bread belly to get rid of! much exercise will be done when i get back as well as no more breads!! (but reminded me that i have to bring some rösti and chocolate home!)
i have that really nervous feeling in my stomach...i don't know why. i guess all the finality of things. i have enjoyed seeing what i have seen. it makes me long to see more of the world now.
i look forward to seeing the children....to seeing washington again for that is where i feel like it is my home. or at least my home base. roots.
back to basel tomorrow!
yeah i know, john denver but...
...it's about KIDS and i love KIDS and they are super AMAZING little people!
06 October 2009
fall leaves in fountain
fall leaves in fountain
Originally uploaded by meeshypants
i think we all know what meesh will be getting with her deposit. that's right, a god damn SLR and one that can use fixed lenses. that's where i will need help....from my camera loving friends.
this is blurry but i really like it....it was rainy and cool tonight in zurich. i have....what four days left really only three since i fly out early saturday.
tomorrow i am going to luzern. i hope the weather is nice. i want to take a boat from brunnen to luzern....
05 October 2009
rain
it is still raining. not a good night to go out to take photos. bah.
i guess it would be good to just relax a little. i am very tired.
laundry to fold and stuff....maybe a glass of wine....dunno.
it's weird to be here.
i guess it would be good to just relax a little. i am very tired.
laundry to fold and stuff....maybe a glass of wine....dunno.
it's weird to be here.
meesh passes inspection
so there i was all the things were put away...just me sitting in a chair in my empty flat.
waiting at 11. promptly on time of course the bell rang!
the lady was older, gray, skinny and all she said was guten tag and shook my hand. was totally silent and got out her clip board and all these papers!
i was freaking out on the inside.
when she opened the fridge that was the only time i spoke and said 'i did mention about the freezer door and i wasn't sure if i was to unplug the freezer to thaw it out' she only nodded and kept on running about writing stuff down.
at the end she wanted me to sign something and before i did, i asked 'so can you explain this to me?'
she said 'oh it's fine, you'll get your deposit back in full'
i almost cried but bit the inside of my mouth so hard so that i wouldn't.
a big sigh
put on my pack, got my bag and other bag so many bags.
off i went to the SBB and to zurich.
i am not so exhausted. i am not as much tired as i am emotionally drained maybe.
being at this flat in zurich is making me a bit emotional....just the whole business of how things ended with tamara and joachim doesn't sit all that well with me. some things i guess just don't work out. hopefully in time we all can look back on the lessons of it.
waiting at 11. promptly on time of course the bell rang!
the lady was older, gray, skinny and all she said was guten tag and shook my hand. was totally silent and got out her clip board and all these papers!
i was freaking out on the inside.
when she opened the fridge that was the only time i spoke and said 'i did mention about the freezer door and i wasn't sure if i was to unplug the freezer to thaw it out' she only nodded and kept on running about writing stuff down.
at the end she wanted me to sign something and before i did, i asked 'so can you explain this to me?'
she said 'oh it's fine, you'll get your deposit back in full'
i almost cried but bit the inside of my mouth so hard so that i wouldn't.
a big sigh
put on my pack, got my bag and other bag so many bags.
off i went to the SBB and to zurich.
i am not so exhausted. i am not as much tired as i am emotionally drained maybe.
being at this flat in zurich is making me a bit emotional....just the whole business of how things ended with tamara and joachim doesn't sit all that well with me. some things i guess just don't work out. hopefully in time we all can look back on the lessons of it.
floor dreams
i tried one style of floor bed and around 3 in the morning tried another. the second one worked much better but i had rough weird dreamy sleep
first dream was louis as the inspector in a pin striped suit helping old ladies and carrying my things to the tram stop.....no clip board, just a camera to photograph what was wrong with the flat.
second dream zurich. with my travel pack and saddle bag. it was pouring rain. i got on tram ten to louis's house. he was on tram to work or the airport. don't know. we didn't really talk. i went to the stop near his house. i forgot my computer bag and laundry bag on the tram. he stopped the driver and gave me my things as the doors were closing. (loss). the cable car wasn't working....people making signs in glitter to warn people that it wasn't working.
last dream hazy but more about inspection. mopping and cleaning.
i am so glad this cleaning shit (i hope) is over after today. on to relaxing, laundry and luzern.
back to basel on thursday at the request and suggestion of daniela here and i am happy for the company and to be around jess, their one year old. i miss the kids. i miss kids in general.
i can't believe this will be over soon.
having my last cup of morning joe in the flat....packed and i am rather smelly and dirty cause i didn't want to mess up the tub anymore....i look forward to chillin tonight in zuri doing laundry....relaxing and taking a loooong hot shower!
i gots me, my travel pack, my red suitcase and my carry on
my life in a few places. the transience is upon me again. the change. the departure from what was into what will be.
i am thankful, grateful, sad, happy, excited, scared.....
first dream was louis as the inspector in a pin striped suit helping old ladies and carrying my things to the tram stop.....no clip board, just a camera to photograph what was wrong with the flat.
second dream zurich. with my travel pack and saddle bag. it was pouring rain. i got on tram ten to louis's house. he was on tram to work or the airport. don't know. we didn't really talk. i went to the stop near his house. i forgot my computer bag and laundry bag on the tram. he stopped the driver and gave me my things as the doors were closing. (loss). the cable car wasn't working....people making signs in glitter to warn people that it wasn't working.
last dream hazy but more about inspection. mopping and cleaning.
i am so glad this cleaning shit (i hope) is over after today. on to relaxing, laundry and luzern.
back to basel on thursday at the request and suggestion of daniela here and i am happy for the company and to be around jess, their one year old. i miss the kids. i miss kids in general.
i can't believe this will be over soon.
having my last cup of morning joe in the flat....packed and i am rather smelly and dirty cause i didn't want to mess up the tub anymore....i look forward to chillin tonight in zuri doing laundry....relaxing and taking a loooong hot shower!
i gots me, my travel pack, my red suitcase and my carry on
my life in a few places. the transience is upon me again. the change. the departure from what was into what will be.
i am thankful, grateful, sad, happy, excited, scared.....
04 October 2009
last night in the flat
tonight is my last night in my flat!
weirdness!
i made a little bed on the floor with a little blanket and my sleeping bag.
i am listening to the innocence mission.....it's been a bit of off and on crying....re cleaning the windows and things.
weirdness!
i made a little bed on the floor with a little blanket and my sleeping bag.
i am listening to the innocence mission.....it's been a bit of off and on crying....re cleaning the windows and things.
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