weird....kind of numb?

i don't think i am numb but i sure feel odd about leaving and that there is only 3 days left.

i do like change and i do know that i am doing the right thing. as a dear friend told me it's better to know about unhappiness and to do something about it rather than stay and suffer.

in the end i think it was best for everyone involved.

it's been gray and rainy in zurich for two days but today it's clear as a bell in the sky so i look forward to taking the train to brunnen and then a boat to luzern. thanks louis for the swiss change to be able to do it.

that guy has money all over the house. i guess i learned a lot about money here too. so long as i have a roof, food, friends...clothes. i don't 'need' much else. though it's nice to 'have' stuff having my life and breath and people that care about me is more incredible than there are words.

i am reminded of the fact that there are certain things that just cannot be put into words. perhaps that is how i am feeling now. i have been a crying mess-watching myself slip into the background of someone's mind....watching the life continue as if i wasn't here anymore and i guess in some ways it is better to see that. i am happy that there is someone else to keep the company though the sting, well, stings.

i am open but i need others to be open too otherwise it makes the openness one sided. assumptions are made. feelings get hurt.

i have some bread belly to get rid of! much exercise will be done when i get back as well as no more breads!! (but reminded me that i have to bring some rösti and chocolate home!)

i have that really nervous feeling in my stomach...i don't know why. i guess all the finality of things. i have enjoyed seeing what i have seen. it makes me long to see more of the world now.

i look forward to seeing the children....to seeing washington again for that is where i feel like it is my home. or at least my home base. roots.

back to basel tomorrow!