hope. the word. the meaning.

hope. as defined in the dictionary on my computer:
noun:
a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen
okay. i can see where this definition would allow for disappointment.

check.
next definition:

a person or thing that may help or save someone : their only hope is surgery.

so the only thing that will save me is the hope that surgery will save me. okay. that's still hope especially if i needed say a new liver or heart....right?
so i would hope...okay check. this definition could also lead someone to disappointment.

(do you see where i am going with this? conversation this morning with someone from home who was up waaay too late while i was having my morning joe...about hope, my hope for my own self and my own life...i had a good logic teacher, so wonder about specific definitions of the word 'hope')

next:
noun
grounds for believing that something good may happen : he does see some hope for the future.

grounds for believing. why good? have we not as humans at some point or another time in our lives hoped that bad things happened to the bad people? i doubt anyone would readily admit this, but still, leading to more disappointment. he does see some hope for the future, but future is relatively unknown.

ahh, now we may be getting somewheres!
i find this one closer to what i think i was getting at:

archaic- a feeling of trust.

an old definition but one that relates more to what i think about hope. i suppose a trust in myself...

hope is more a 'feeling' for me.

i don't hope for things (material) or that things would be 'different' or that i hope to win the lottery...it's more personal.

my own personal hopes for myself, not necessarily for any future things but just for who i am as a person. that i hope i am okay. that i hope i have fun. that i hope i can ease my pain. that i hope i am a good friend. hope that i am a good nanny. hope that i am whatever i want to be and make that manifest.

we all have pain and we all deal with it our own ways.

i think as humans no matter our beliefs, have a bit of hope...in life, our fellow man or whatever...

so i hope for my own life goodness. i hope for my life to be the best me i can and even when i am not, that i hope i see what i did wrong and make up for it.